Many would have heard the phrase- ‘its better to give than to receive’ so, what is the hidden power of giving and makes it so profoundly wonderful? think about the last time you gave someone a gift with no expectation of reciprocity, no doubt you feel happy with the sense of giving and it is this expression of power to give joy to anyone at anytime.

Giving does not apply exclusively to material gifts, you can always run out of money, but you can always give off yourself endlessly- you time; your love, your experience, shoulder or ear, and your good deed will boomerang in special and amazing ways. in some stage of our life, we would have receive the help of someone whom we have helped in someways in the past or even someone who had been inspired by your giving ways. when you give selflessly, no matter how small the deed or gift, you earn respect, and fellowship. you enlarged your world of friend who will lend you a hand when need arises. Bear in mind that in areas of war, poverty, and uncertaintly, a small candle can light up the whole world. the spirit of giving will only be true and joyous if we do not expect rewards to come back to us.

however there is always a limit to how much a person can give or receive, if you give too much, you will end up with nothing and if you receive too much, you wont have room to contain anything else of the good things in the world. so, my point is, people got to receive as much as they give.

We Asians in particular, have this habit of turning down compliments or disagree to praises and positive comment others have about you. Open your heart to accept what people say about you, recieve them with open arms and feel the difference when it comes to you. There is totally nothing wrong in receiving appriciation from people whom you’ve extended your hands to or inspired in one way or another.

ok stopping for lunch now. blog again soon.

For the past one year, i would wake up in the early hours to the stamping of boots, timings of the soldiers doing their morning exercises and loud, clear command given by my peers from downstairs. i would look out of my corridor and waved as they greeted me.
It wasnt at all an easy journey for everyone of us, doing the things that we would not have imagine ourselves do a few years ago, and maybe, as i look back in years to come, i couldnt believe myself that i did those things too. i remember one thing i always like to tell my guys, especially those who are physically and mentally weaker is that, no matter how tough the objective is and how tiring it might get, do not give up cause eventually we will definately finish it (because this is SAF and every training is pre-planned) and when you look back at the end of the day, you will still feel the pain but the pride in you and this chapter in your army training will follow you a lifetime.

honestly this is one day i’ve been really counting down to so deligently, it feels really great to be out of a soldier’s outfit and embrace the civilian world. there are many things that left me very deep impressions throughout the two years and apart from the friendships that are made, the trainings and the funny things that we do out in the field when no one is looking will definately have a lasting impression on each and everyone of us.

in these two years, we slept in countless locations in weird jungles, crawled in mud, crossed rivers after rivers, scaled several mountains overseas, flew in the choppers, stormed bulidings, assulted objectives, nevigated in freak terrains, covered unimaginable distances on foot and we braved all weathers together.

i wont say i love my nation more after this but i just feel that we have really done our part as a singaporean and if i have a choice to do all these again, my answer will surely be- no thanks.

as i hand over the guys to the next batch of commanders taking over them, i remember saying something that made me felt damn proud of these boys. exactly what i said to the new commanders, ‘these boys fought alongside with me for the past one year, they are the best that anyone can receive and im handing them over to you’

im proud of all of you and its my honour to be able to command you guys, all the best,
6SIR 13th MONO A COY

The count is 40 odd days to ORD and yes i was still in the jungles of singapore with the GPMG mounted before me and a trench dug for me to hide in. Well duty calls for me to stay up most of the time at night so all i could do was 1. stare into nothingness, 2. stare into nothingness and 3. stare into nothingness.

I did have some take-aways from all these staring and here are some sharings.

In life, its just like army – It goes on and you cant take the easy way out. someone once told me back in taining school; ‘when the enermy is in range, so are you.’ take it literally or not, this phrase actually contains deeper meaning than what it seemed to be. Somehow it felt like, for every step or action you take in life, you have to take a step back and look at yourself and think twice before carrying out your plans.

Be it in the trainings, studies or in life, we are bound to face difficulties along the way, always keep in mind that when the going gets tough, rememeber that someone is fighting a war much harder than yours and always keep on the positive attitude for, what that doesnt kill you will only make you stronger. Press on and never compromise your standards.

Anyway, im quite sure that this is gonna be my last major exercise and i should be preparing to get a job outside before school starts August next year. i hope everything will turn out well and i should really stop procrastinating and start searching.

40 over days more to go and i can almost smell freedom. come on.

I was hardly a good student in junior college; I’ve never pass spot checks for hair cut, skipped lessons when I cant wake up and constantly missed lessons due to other commitments. When I finally have time because I decide that homework needn’t be done, I chose to spend my time in the volleyball court or Safra’s shooting range.

Everything changed when I got enlisted. I went to command school and then into a combat unit. My hair has to be always short and neat, on time for every tasking and I must be discipline enough to deliver my best to the men looking up to me. It felt so weird and I hate that feeling. Sometimes I wish that I can well be just like one of them, finding flaws and loopholes in the system and test the extent that rules can be bent. Regimentation and discipline might be good but it can really drive someone crazy.

Imagine that life is a movie and we’re watching our lives on the screen. I’m sure that every single one of us will be surprise by the amount of transformation a person can undergo over a short period of time of maybe a year or two. I’m not talking about superficial and minor changes like appearance, but drastic, unknowing changes to a person’s behavior and character.

I’ve seen so many examples of people changing their attitude towards life in a short span of time due to environment and events that occurred in their life. I don’t deny that I am one of them.

Like exactly how Nic felt, maybe up till a year ago we are still leading boring and monotonous life but now our group will be out partying, clubbing, drinking every week be it in Singapore or overseas. We love nightlife and it’s great that studying no longer comes as no.1 priority.

Sometimes I thought that the break up last year was really a blessing in disguise for me to experience life. Honestly, I felt lost for a while but I knew it’s my chance to join my ever-adventurous coy mates to see the world in a different way. Well we only get to live once, why waste it when I have the time, energy, money and chance right now. I’m only just turning 21 in a few months time.

Like above-mentioned and which I still feel so damningly true, imagine life’s a movie and you’re watching your very own life story playing, what and where are the highlights of your movie? How is your movie beautiful and unique and who made it special. You have the choice, it might start with an alright scene but will it end in silent darkness?

Maybe it’s time to wake up.

Lost. Probably.

I accompanied one of the soldiers to court today for his court hearing, he had his SOC in the morning and prior to leaving the camp I could sense his uneasiness. The platoon mates wished him luck, he smile and told them that he will be back and ready for AIT phase to start.

He doesn’t know how to communicate with his parents. His dad, mum and sis could do nothing but to sit down on the benches while he stood alone on the other side. I talked to him, he talked to me about him messaging his girlfriend right now and that he feel like giving her call but she’s having a lesson.

He asked me if I could go take the train with him later since I’m staying in the east as well and he told me he wanna have mac after the hearing is over.

I said ok.

The officer came to call his name and he stood in front of the judge. He didn’t turn to look at his parent’s worried eyes as his charges were read to him. I wonder what was going through his mind at that moment.

I knew it felt like every second must have been like hours, standing before so many pairs of eyes and especially before your loved ones. The judge gave his verdict. He was to be sent to a remand center with immediate effect and the next time he could be contacted or visited will be 3 weeks later.

He surrendered his phone and ID card to the police officer and walked to the detention room. Lost. Was all that was written all over his face. I caught a glimpse of the room. It is a small, bright white room with nothing but the walls.

The mom wept. She wanted to talk to the son but she was afraid he didn’t want to listen to her. The dad comforted her and she told me to relay a message to the son that he must be good during his detention and treat it as another confinement in the army.

I gave my ID to the officer and through the glass panel; I sensed his remorse and worries. I relayed his mum’s message and he cried.

He told me he has a lot of things to tell his parents and he still has an incomplete message type to his girlfriend when his phone was taken away and now he will not be able to talk to them for almost a month.

i pitied him.

I guess I know that feeling. Almost the same thing happened to me 6 years ago. I wish he would learn from his lesson. And just like me then, he’s still very young.

Sometimes we just have to look back and do some reflection about life. I was lucky I didn’t leave a black mark in my life because I was given a second chance unlike him, I left my friends and life went on. Most of the time it’s the waiting process that is torturous.
I always kept this little red card that my form teacher gave me which is laminated nicely about she being proud of me for doing well for my ‘O’s, got a place in JC and turn over a new leaf.

I did exactly the same for the recruits on their POP day, laminated notes of encouragements and hopefully they do learn something and move on in life.

everyone makes mistakes and sadly, in army i learnt that not everyone knows the meaning of learning from mistakes.

i wish that you would not be like them,
Good luck Chan.

I remember sitting down with the section and one of the soldiers tried asking me an IQ question on the final night of exercise hoping that I would get it wrong to maybe fulfill their sense of achievement because to them, commanders always have a perfect answer to all their questions.

His question was that kind of question that you lay some twigs on the floor and the person being tested will have to move 2 twigs so it will form another shape and sadly for them, it turn out that I’ve been asked before and they had to be disappointed.

Seeing their disappointment, I decided to post them questions instead. I copied the idea from my KI friend who asked me that question back in JC and I was so certain that no one in the whole bloody world will get it wrong but turn out I realized that no matter how sure you are about your answer, you’ll Never get it right.

He asked me: what is one plus one?

So I asked them the same thing too.
None of them gave me an immediate answer, probably sensing that the answer will not be as easy as 2

Something that I always feel proud about this batch of 13th mono is that they know themselves that they might be slow, but they’ll never give up trying. Answers such as 3, 11, Chinese characters and all sorts of answers came raining now but just none of them said two.

I should have given them a good scolding for making things so complicated when the lawfully right answer should be 2 and that I just needed them to say ‘2’ to prove that 1 plus one might not equate to 2. So I singled out this noisy guy from my section whom upon called on turned speechless on the instant.

Jasper, what is one plus one?

‘Two.. two lor’

I asked the rest of the section if they agreed to the answer and the good thing was no one disagreed. So I asked them the next part of the question. ‘If I pour a pail of water into another pail of water, how many pails of water will I get?’

All of them went dumb just like I did 3 years ago. So I ask them another one to further prove that one plus one you still might not get 2. I asked if they knew what made up 1h2o, all of them could tell me its 2 oxygen and 1 hydrogen. And right after that I knew they knew what I wanted to say.

I remember I tried arguing with my friend about this being a chemistry phenomenon and it cannot be compared as its atoms becoming molecules that we are talking about, not atoms becoming more atoms. But fundamentally, we cannot deny that we got 1 when we added 1 to 1 to 1.

Well it’s all about perspective I guess. Nothing is quite certain in this world and its how you see life and the things life brings you.

i’ve created various playlists over the years and the same itunes followed me despite this being my third ipod. the only difference is that every month there will always be new additions to the itunes and old playlists could no longer find their place in my 16g itouch.

These playlists seem to be the reflection of transitions in various stages of my life and i really see how my liking for music and changed over the years. To me, songs are more then just words and rhythm, they are tools that unlock memory. It just comes naturally that when i listen to some songs, it bring back memory of myself studying for the promotional exams, the A levels and even enlisting into the army. maybe to put it in another way, if life has many chapters, songs are bookmarks to the pages.

As i approach the final quarter of my time as a NSF serviceman, i felt that time is passing faster than i’ve anticipated. To tell the truth, the first year soldiers whom i am training right now will have their passing out parade in two weeks time and im totally not prepared for it. Being in the army always make me feel like going back to school to study. Recently i always have this thinking that, what if one day i do get a chance to go overseas to study, how will it be like and how life would be outside.

i guess studying overseas and travelling gives you your sense of place in this world and a glimpse of how amazing everything can be.I want to live as an effervescent bit of neon street lighting in Tokyo, enjoy the solitude and peace in the suburbs of London, walk down the sunny streets of califonia or even taking a stroll down the aggressive pavements of Hong Kong. Every place in this world is romantic, it is just how you see it and who you are with.

There are infinite possibilities in this world, like murphy’s law states: anything that can happen, will happen. you’ll never know what is gonna happen in the next 2, 5, 10 years. im turning 21 this year, i could feel so much more freedom coming my way, not that i dont have any, but 21 basically entitle me to do more.

When i step out of army, i know i’ll see the society in a different light. i’ll be going to a university, gonna leave my army buddies and make more friends at the same time, i’ll surely have lesser time to chill out in my favourite bar with the usual clique and maybe i might not be as crazy over manchester united as i am right now. i’ll never know.

But one thing for sure, i must plan my path well for no one decides your future better than youself